James Brown?

The point being, I'm back, and I've now got 2 blogs, that's right, TWO.  So what if I haven't bloggered since August, it's been a busy summer/fall/winter season.

However, I have been documenting a bunch of things since then, and they will all be given a chance for the lime light on the 'ol WineSperation.  

Speaking of which:
This happened this weekend, and I will probably not have a drink of alcohol for a long, long, lon...tomorrow.

I know that it's not me, but I didn't really have pics of myself, not to mention, I was probably too intoxicated to be photographed.  

See you soon, with a real live story.....

P.S. If you are wondering what the other blog is, its this:  www.backcombed.com or www.backcombed.tumblr.com

Tuesday.

Well here is what has happened to me in the past 20ish minutes:

This guy: 

I am really hoping that he is here to take care of that damn blackberry bush!  I don’t really think he is, but that field has gone unattended for 3 years- those trucks haven't moved.  And BAM a few months after I file a complaint with the city someone is mowing the field??

Also:

I counted. 16 Jalapeno plants… WHAT? #suckitslugs

While I was counting/weeding around my little mexican farm, a wasp-tiranasaurs-bee

flew near me, I got up walked in the house and got a drink.  Waited a few ticks and went back out to finish the job, Mr. Buzz-Killer came back, but this time didn’t fly around me as much, but flew around this spot of weeds I had finished with, flew around for a few seconds and landed.  Or seemed to have landed….  I walked over (to kill the big guy) and he wasn’t crawling around anywhere!)  But I did see a hole (WHAT!?!?!) that he would fit quite nicely into.  Um, WHAT?!?!?!

So here is what I (google) came up with:

http://www.scottsdale-pest-control.com/mining-bees.html

And last but not least:

I realized that the times where I most think about things to blog are when I am alone, and am just going about my day to day business, which shows: 1.  That’s why I was against the bloggiepoo in the first place, because who wants to hear about my borring weeding. And 2.  I have been busy and not at home alone, proven by the lacking of the blogging.

I hope the blog keeps up, however I have peeps coming in from out of town, and then…. NOLA!!

!! 

Romance, schmomance....

This is where the Kev-ster and I stayed for our 1 year anniversary, it was romantic, it was hot, and it was perfection!

Streisand....

Rememeber when I used to bloggathon?  WELL... it's been busy okay?? 

I shall get back to it, just as soon as I get back from these three trips.  But I shall try and blog from afar..... 

Truckin'

Not really.
Today's ride was great.  I left a little earlier than I normally do, but wanted the extra time to take my time.  The green belt was alive with the sounds of "morning"s.  
IT.  WAS.  AMAZING.  There hasn't been anything that refreshing for a long time!  Nearly everyone I passed by going either direction made eye contact, nodded, smiled and said "Morning!".  IT.  WAS.  AMAZING.  By the end of my ride I was in such a great mood!  So many people being so nice, smiling, everyone enjoying the air, the city, nature!  You can't help but smile!! 


Lovely. Period. 


And These bad boy's rolled in just as I got home! Perfection!

Morning!

Daiquiri.

Impending Doom.

I feel as if it's all over.  

There is a kitchen timer in life, and 30 my friends (Hi, Layne) is the ding.  There is nothing better than pre-thirty.  You will never be as fun as pre-thirty.  You will never be as skinny (today however it is clear this is true) as pre-thirty.  Its all over after pre-thirty.  
I know it's not true, but thats how I feel.  Thirty isn't old, heck 38 isn't old, really.  I know life does not end at thirty.  I know 30-39 will probably be a better decade than 20-29, but that is not how it feels.  It feels, scary.  It feels as if I haven't done anything, that I should have done at least 3 times the amount of good, of saving*, of helping, of bettering, of reading, of listening, of being nicer, of anything.  There are 4 months left..........

*there is no saving....  

Full Circle

Remember last night? I do:


Got this:

Saw This:

Met that Idol Lady:

Watched This:

Snagged This:

Then tonight: 
Thought this:

Oh great,  ______'s are having a _____.  Another person who is too short minded to even go into a bar.  That will probably do us (the world) good in the future. 

Wow, self,  you sure are judging from your high chair of sitting in your bed at 9:00 with a popsicle in your hand.  What the hell good are you doing to brighten this life from that perch? Nothing. NOTHING.

Self, Suck it.  Go show some damn grace already.

Reason #103

You can't get this:

When you have this:

Village Person

I wish this were construction on my house that I:
1. Could afford.
2. Had hired to make my house cooler.
3. Didn't have to put up with because some neighbor is pissed their cable is a little wacky.
4. Didn't ever have to see the ugly green box ever again.

Spring has....

Sprung?

My thumb is, well, black as death....

The tomato plants aren't too bad....

But I had to spend $$ on others.... 

Jalapeno...

Basil....

Rant.

I have to.  Apparently.

Photos to negate the negativity………..

Here is the thing I like about this blogging business so far- I can rant and rage as much as I want, and if you don’t like it- don’t read it.

It’s not Facebook- it’s blogbook.  I will not annoy anyone with what I say (unless they read it) I can post as many or as little things as I like.  If I choose to post a lot then nobody seems to get mad at how “annoying” I am (why do people get so mad at the fact that there are facebookers who always post and facebookers who never post?  Are we not supposed to have fun on Facebook?)

I do however feel that any time I decide to write a new post where I rant and rage, by the time that I have all the things I will say in my head, I do not need to post it, nor do I want to because who wants a mass of pages of negativity?  This idea is not proven by the fact that out of all the blogs I have written more than half of them are me bitching about something.  Granted, those are “funny rant/rages”.  Still counts as negative, yea?

I keep thinking “don’t post that it’s negative, and don’t you want your blog to be fun and positive?  A place where people (Layne) like to go??”

Having said all that, here we go*:  

If you respect me, I will respect you.  If you do not, I will not.

If you have an apt at 10:00 do not leave your house at 10:00 and call me at 10:05 and tell me that you are stuck in traffic.  It’s Saturday, at 10 am there is no traffic, you are lazy and did not want to come to the appointment that YOU made.  

Do not lie to me.  Just don’t, not to anyone.  It’s rude, you will get caught (a lesson Mom always tried to teach me but I never learned)

Do not steal from me.  It’s pretty crappy.

Why don’t you think about not screwing someone over?

How about maybe being self sufficient?

How about not pretending to like someone so they buy you dinner?  Because guess what, more grace equals more love!

Don’t be a jerk all the time.  Sometimes (like in a blog rager) it’s okay.  As long as you listen to Joe and try to be full of grace the rest of the time.  It takes practice to be full of grace all the time.

*This may all have to do with the fact that I got up at 5:30am to be to work by 7:00.  Sorry.

I could watch this a thousand times....

It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a spork.

Remember when I came home fat?


I do.


So then I drowned my sorrows in some clips from Cougar Town and an Episode of Glee.


Four hours later I decided I should eat.


Enter fridge.  What? nothing to eat?  I've got noodles.  I've got spices.  I've got sauce.  I've got a meal.


So then I stirred the meal.  With a wooden spoon.


Thought: Isn't it ironic that the wooden spoon is one of my favorite kitchen utensils?

Lil' Jerks.

Slugs suck.  Here I thought they were all fun and slimy but no NOOOOO! They eat all the plants you have been growing for months.  Jackasses.


So, the slugs have been chillin' in my yard for weeks now and I was cool with it.  Until last night.  Last night I discovered that there was a slug ON MY JALAPENO PLANT!  So YOU have been the lil' bastard chewin' on the leaves! Jerk.


Kev-Kev pipes in with: "Ohhh put beer out and they will drink their death!"  Huh?


Yep turns out that slugs like the smell/taste of beer too bad it kills the living crap out of them! YAHOO!


So.... busted out a Coors Light and 20 min later:

I now have fresh beers in 4 little dishes for the second time- they will ALL die. 


Drink your last drink of delicious death, jerks.  Don't they even look cute on the death pool? Baby antennae! 

Well, I guess I will just put my pajamas on.

Today I woke up made a sweet sweet breakfast sandwich.
It included: a bagel, an egg, some ham, and some swiss cheese.
What it did not include: dog vomit.
Strange right? Right. 

So I came home from the ol' wizzork and Ike The Dog was all bouncy, but not his regular bounce, and not his Oh-Crap-Sorry-I-Ate-That-Horseshoe-Shaped-Wiggle-Bounce  Apparently it was his Let-Me-Out-I-Need-To-Eat-Some-Grass-To-Settle-My-Stomach-Bounce. 


Awesome. 


So I let the darn guy out and he ate some grass, I then moseyed over to the living room to find the pile(s).  Because when a dog gets sick he wants to eat the yard?  Weird. But true.  
So what did I find?  TWO!!! Two piles of the good stuff, and a very chewed/clean wrapper from some swiss cheese.  Damn it's all my fault. 
At least it wasn't on my bed. #someonebuymenewflooring

Hope the guy feels better.  Made him some food to settle the tummy.  And my reward/punishment?  Gas.  Lots of gas, thanks Ikerfacesquishypants.  Thanks.

Rack and Fenders

I got some, and I love them!












Also: saw 5 bats on the ride home, it was great!

McHungry

When you have a room full of laundry (for a couple of months) that need to be folded... you can't just fold it.  You need something to do.
Put on a movie I say!  Put on a movie that you have seen before and can know what is basically going on visually so you can fold and organize without much interuption.  In other words: put on a movie that you can more or less listen to.

Tonight I did that. I put the movie "Super Size Me" on hoping for 2 things: 
1. I would be entertained.
2. I would not want fast food for a long time.


Keep in mind this is not the first time I have seen this movie, it's the 2nd.  So what happened the 1st time?  All I could do was just sit and suffer through the movie until I could drive (not walk, ride, run, or exercise in any way) to the nearest open McDonald's*.  All I wanted for the 1 hour 40 minute movie was a damn Big Mac.  Damn. 


Guess what happened the 2nd time?  The same.  Only this time I didn't go get a Big Mac like last time.  I had some lame ass string cheese.  And now I am still craving the Mac and don't feel that well, stupid lactose intolerance.  


The weather is going to be crappy the rest of the week- this means I am still only at like 4 cycle commutes to work.  Last week it was either snowing, raining or I had some things (please see cake blog) to take care of so that I could not ride to work.  The point? Now I'm going to eat crap food, maybe just once and eat good again, and have to drive to work.  Is it weird that I ask for nice weather on work days and bad weather on weekends?  How about good all the time?  But no droughts. 

* The spell check want's to change McDonald's to McDonnell's which reminds me of this awesomeness.  But JSYK that was McDowell's .... I don't even need to look that up.

Today I learned:

Plus

Equals

Hey all you Cold Hearted Snakes:

      

Samatha said it....

Seriously. They are like $0.79 more a can.  

It's not that I am a great fan of the Pea.  Typing this I am realizing those cans are marked "Sweat" Peas, (which I have never noticed before) makes me wonder if I may be a fan of these peas....
Back to the point:
It's not that I am a great fan of the Pea.  But these Peas were featured on SATC (Season 4: Episode 1 "The Agony And the Ex-stasy" ) Anywho... Every time I am looking at the canned vegetables I wonder, "HEY! THOSE ARE SAMANTHA'S PEAS!.... That isn't much more money....  I should try those.... But really? .... I mean it is more money... They can't be that much better... THOSE ARE SAMANTHA'S DIRTY PEAS.... etc. etc. etc."
I still have never had the fancy (Samantha) Peas.  I wonder if I ever will.


P.S. These are the things you (I) think of when I (you) start a blog. "Hey! Those are Samantha's Peas! I should take a picture and blog about this.... since I have nothing else to blog about......................................................................................................................................................"

When throwing a surprise party....

You may need to go to your Mother's house
to bake a cake on your lunch hour.

Please be aware: 

• You may not be able to find eggs.  Thus you will have to get back in your car and haul Cooper to the store.  
• You may have to hunt down the hand mixer.  It will be from 1897.
• You will have to mix with a silicone whisk, because obviously the beaters would not be in the box of the mixer circa 1934.
• This will suck.  The whisk will not be strong enough to break the yolk, but don't worry, just keep stirring, eventually it will all not mix.
• When your Mother does call you back, she will tell you 3 places that the beaters would be, having looked in all those places, you will find them under a stack of hand towels and oven mitts.
• Make sure the mixer is turned off. If you don't you will jump, the sound of the mixer mixing the stove top is scary.  *whomever used it in 1400 forgot this and just unplugged it*
• You get to watch TV while the cake bakes! *and play angry birds*
• You may have to move about 6,000 items around in a freezer to find a place to place said cake.
• You have to go back to work.

This will drain your battery.

Poutn' Pooch

Sometimes, you are mad. 
Sometimes you are mad at Mom.
Sometimes, you're just tired and Mom told you you cant sit on the chair.